♥ the earth is now filled with people who are patiently waiting for 2009 ♥

there is no doubt that 2008 was indeed full and never boring for me

lets take a look at how 2008 was for me in pictures

2008: semester 3

i was not repeating and was having a blast with myself, i was aware of the repeat status so i tried hard to pass. however you know the ending

2008: semester 1

i found out i had to repeat and my first subject to repeat was japanese

i was totally into the subject and my love for japanese songs grew. my first japanese song was from yuna ito (endless story). when exams came i was all がんばて ください (ganbate kudasai) for myself and i scored (DUH!!!)

2008: semester 2

i had to repeat 4 subjects, they were ↓

⇒ accounting

⇒ marketing

⇒ hotel management operations

⇒ food preparation

* lucky for me i had practical to go through again.

i was the manager as picked by ms julie♥

the first time i managed the restaurant as a manager was mixed for me

i was lucky because

*i could set the standard

*i had the advantage of knowing my members more

*i could actually make this happen

i still remember my happy ways then.

*the girls*

*and the boys*

it was fun having these people!!

*omg i didn't realize till  it was too late..*

then as always, a storm brews from beyond

on the 15th of december at 8.20pm

i was called a bitch by one of my members

from then on i realized with the help of another member about my mistakes

still i did not change

this year, my aim is to change

obama can do it so can i.

2008: personally 

i loved the times of semester 1 (repeat)

mainly because i can return to kampar on tuesdays not sundays/mondays

but besides that, i can spend more time dining on my mothers cooking

life was easy then to me

on another note, i personally found an attraction to write again

that was when 

THE CHRONICLES OF CHARMAINE

was born with my first post tittle: durian love

now as i look back on all the songs, memories, pictures and  events of 2008

i seem so exited to welcome on 2009

lets make fire out of water and let everything go.

۩۞۩  if fire was made out of water  ۩۞۩

cheers to 2008,

はじめまして (hajimemashite) to 2009.

xoxo

charmainechew

(as at 11.55 pm 31st december 2008)

2009

happy new year everyone

as i am writing this, it is already

31st december 2008

9.05 a.m

and i am using the college wifi

besides that:

my hostel toilet is broken (unable to flush properly)

my hostel does not have wifi reception due to DNS server not responding

i might be spending new year with my sister @ kampar

i have to brace myself for exams

i know that my birthday falls on a exam date

i will most probably change classes next semester from dht5 to dht3

i know that someone likes my sister although i don't think it will work out, i still wish them all the best

i am psyched for new year

i may try to stay up tonight

i have presentation @ accounting classes later @ 5

i am happy with the year 2008

i had tones of downs emotionally this year

i hope 2009 will be better

xoxo

charmainechew

happy birthday thelo

for those of you who do not know who thelo is, 

she is my housemate in my hostel @ kampar

her birthday falls on the 27th this month

her roommate swen yi bought a cake and we celebrated with the whole house

simple one la

i got 2 pictures:

the cake!! chocolate yummy!! ♥

the birthday girl!! only gt 1 pic ♥

on another note:

my youngest sister has come to kampar again for a visit, we will be going to a friends house on wednesday till friday. so i will not be celebrating christmas with my family this year.

another this is:

new year is coming, so as always, i will want to forget all the bad memories that happened this year. i want to forgive and forget. so if you have anything that involves me doing something bad towards you, i am sorry. ♥

to my practical group members and everyone from my class:

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR!! ♥

xoxo

charmainechew ♥

love to have sales (quickie series)

as you all know, the whole of malaysia is now in sales mode, i joined the mad crowd due to fate..

i went and told myself that i will not but anything but i did.

last week i went and say this hoodie, i wanted it so bad bt didn't gt it

bt this week i went again to the same place and it is still dere, so buy la..

oh ya, do note my haircut

and the ring that we all are showing,

we all gt de same 1

i'm the one with the hood on.

xoxo

charmainechew

♥ The earth swarms with people who are not worth talking to ♥

there are just some times when you feel really happy with certain groups of people

and then depressed with another

i am sort of used to this kind of situation

i practically face it everyday

when i am with my family and good friends

i will be so happy that my dad will say

"you live a happy life"

however the same cannot be said when i am not exactly with my family

i will feel sad, depressed and loose all strength and energy to go on

i really do wonder why

sometimes i think why i treat people differently

i am proud to say that i do not have any enemies on my class now.

i don't hate anyone and i hope nobody hates me too

i know that

♥ The earth swarms with people who are not worth talking to ♥

but maybe i am one of those who are not worth talking, mixing or even trying to be friends with.

i don't know

life as a repeat student has been hard and easy 

semester one was easy

semester two is still a emotional tidal wave

i still feel like something is missing

i cannot find the joy with people like before

everything else just seems depressingly hard

i know i am making friends that otherwise i will not even talk to

that makes me happy

but the sad thing is that i cannot even try to be happy as i was before

i seem so sad and it comes easy

i seem to pity myself more than before

i still remember when week 1 on semester 2 just started

i was really happy then

i really was

now, i just lost that cute, friendly, happy go lucky me

i know that unless i find my mistakes and do right

i will plunge deeper and deeper into where i am now

darkness is coating me till no sunlight is within my reach

i am alone in this battle

i know that

everything depends on me

my future lies in my hands

i control my destiny

i must at least try one attempt.

when that does not help,

i can safely said i tried my utmost best before letting go with ease

ANGRY CONFESSIONS!!!

warning:

 i am not in the best mood.
i am going to burst.
do note that i do not care about anything while i am writing this.
and i am angry.
duh tittle.





I have a confession to make. I do not care if you like it or not cause in the first place. This confession is not something that you should see and get angry about. I do not care if you say I am blaming everything on you and not me like I am princess innocent or something. Hello, I am writing here so of course I will say I am right and you are wrong.

Here is the bit, I am so sick and tired of having to watch my mouth when I know that I cannot hold my face from emotions and what not, I will no longer care anymore. I will shoot whoever I want according to paragraph. You better not complain and show me the stupid face and give lectures like I am a little kid or your kid. Geez, if you do not want to continue then fine by me, I am giving you time to close one eye and not see this. If you do see, be warned because I have warned you, clearly.

I am just so sick and tired of practical and all the pretend feeling that I get like I belong or something and then when practical is off, you all just show your ugly, evil, conniving faces and attitudes to me, ya sure I deserve it but the least you can do is do it behind my back. Or you are just too scared like a freaking chicken? To scared of what I will react like? Hey ring ring, if you can do it behind my back and get away with it, then why not do it in my face too? Just because you are scared of how I will react? So lame excuse mind you.

Let’s start okay? We will start with the so called “why is it always me who gets misunderstood?” hello, if you always get misunderstood, then don’t you think that there is something terribly wrong with you? Change you idiot. Don’t just act like I am innocent and I did nothing wrong, and it is not my fault that people are praying on me cause I am always right. Sorry to say, if you are always right, then this is your first mistake, choosing the wrong members, didn’t your innocent always right self tell you that I was going to be major trouble? Huh?

Next, to clear things up, I really tried, you cannot deny the fact that I did try to make friends, you all were the reluctant one, all eight of you, did you not see how you “miss I always bully my brother back home and beat him up till my mum gets so sick of it and does not want to do anything about it anymore?” Hello, you said you like orange, I get it, and I asked you way back when I was manager for restaurant practical why you like orange. Remember? Oh right, you got selective memory, like me. Gosh. You just replied, because it is nice. Hello miss obvious, if it is not nice to you, will you pick it as your favorite color? The answer is: NO!!

Then you went the extra mile to tell you how much you hated my socially retarded friends who actually cared enough to really be my friends. Err lets recap okay? I wonder who was it that asked me to turn against those friends of mine, oh you. Both of you did. Wow I am smart.

Besides that, you said I should stay away from those two silly girls and I did. I actually did and I found myself lonely cause you said I should stay away and obviously I expect to mix into the group. And the reason for my failure. Err. This is hard let’s see. YOU!! You never make me feel accepted at all, if anything, you made me feel more rejected than any time in my whole existing life. Sure I stayed away from them like you told me and I like a stupid robot followed your instructions and like a stupid robot ended up cold and lonely, but I have to thank you for making me realize how bad you really are.

Yes, there was a gap in your evil plan to destroy the repeat student just because you can. Ya there was, though I was alone in the class, I actually mixed and no I did not feel so lonely, I am a human being, I am not born with social skills, then I should be used to being alone right? YA!!

And to add insult to injury, who was the one who got played at like a doll? I played and acted like a fool just because I have to watch my mouth. I may not have mentioned your name but you should know who you are. And to those whose name I did not mention, and then consider yourself in my good books if that will make you feel any better that you already are alone.

I am just really sick of all this things, I have to think really deep before I speak and even when I speak, you all act like I am invisible and non- existent, sure I am a repeat student, I am not supposed to be there, but I am. The least you can do for me is to make me feel like I am a part of the group. If you were tested on this, I will surely make sure you fail in this.

Lucky for you it is not a test, but I have said what I wanted so far, rests assure that it will not be the last whisper for me. If this continues, I might just be able to publish my own book. I did not say it has to be a best seller, but still. You heard it first from me. Beware and careful where you trod .

xoxo

charmainechew

bffs

there was once when i thought i was friendless
then you came along and i know now that we are no longer alone
i can be myself in front of you
i can make all the noise i want without being stopped

to: nadia

whatever did today did to me so i can live each laugh and tear and hand cram with you?
i do not want to know
i thought i was alone till you came along
thank you so much..
love you to bits

but to the others, don't worry, you still are my friends..
you all hold a very special space in my life..

but nothing comes close to my family

♥dad, if you see this post...
your little girls
wish you a very happy birthday, hoping for more happy birthdays to come,
each year, a little more closer than the last
each day, a little more attached,
each hour, missing your loving grace.
each breath thanking you for my life.
to my only loving dad, thanks for everything that you and mum gave.
priceless..

xoxo
charmainechew