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Monday, December 28, 2009

how i feel

i have just realized today
more so than any other day that i have been through
despite being "sprinkled" with generous amounts of people
i really am window shopping
always looking and just seeing outsides the display glass
never entering, never making a purchase

I'm always on the outside looking in

i found out my name
charmaine
is a latin word
it means strong
i guess thats how i got my strength
my ability to hold emotions that
reduce me to tears are

there since i was born

i ate many humble pies
and swallowed many lies
i made knots with people that they untie

i constantly tell my sister that
i have the best group of friends ever
which is slightly true

the people i know that i call friends
are the best I've ever had
its just
i don't think they consider me to be their friend
i think i'm hated on a daily basis

i always tell myself that
i am significant
i matter
i am someone they need to live
but i'm only lying to myself

i'm not significant enough
i don't matter enough
and they can live without me

today i look closer at the "doll" i wanted
then i saw its price tag

not even in my dreams will i get it

i'm the kid that pushes her nose on the store window
stares at my material desires
and never leaves
and never goes in
and is never wanted

xoxo
charm chew

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

new hair

new haircut had mixed reviews, i personally think that it's too short
some of my friends say it suits me
some say i look like buttercup from powerpuff girls



and i just hate my haircut cause i look funny
just have to let it grow...

xoxo
charm chew

Monday, December 21, 2009

steamy hot pictures (orgasm part 2) and some ice to cool stuff down

so my friend lost  her camera but i had other friends who took some pictures for the steamboat trip, anyway sin lin, i hope you find your camera soon and yes i’m sure you brought it back to kampar

ok lets get to it

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this is almost everyone at my table (there were 2 tables)

*i was  the only one overdressed cause i wore a formal white shirt and jeans

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here is some from the other table

so after we ate like hooligans that saw food for the first time
we did what everyone else were not doing
we took photos and turned the place upside down

gals, lets do it!!

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oh do take note, i know i look like a monkey but love the lights and the way it shines (pretty much?? no??)

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much better, still hearts the lights

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warning: midget available.. short much..

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i am short and proud to be (slightly), gives me a rather good reason to wear heels

so later we all took photos individually with others but my phone is so laupok and has no memory card so no photos from my phone but i got some from keisin’s phone so far.

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work it ladies

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see us hot till steam covers our hawtness (referring to pooikhee in white)

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my fav awesome gals aka Charlie's angels (junior version)

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me and keisin

 

christmas celebration 

didn’t take any pictures but here is daniel as princess danielle

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great job now all we need is some hair extensions (and that robot behind removed)

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maybe some color contacts too, no??

and here is the Yule log that me and niki hogged to decorate during baking and pastry class

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i know, we are naturals so call me..
yea you pervert I'll ice something on you

 

hammie

Hammie

yea, you know you miss him,
he is doing just fine and still adorable
sleeps and eats as well

 

old news

mama convo
mummy dearest and daddy both are now graduate couples
i have not been home for a rather long time and i miss home a little bit

and incase you live on nothing but older news, i have an interview with traders hotel on the 29th of December, nervous wreck now so hope to get it

my assistant is going to renaissance hotel in KL, wish him the best of luck and his honey bunny too, they both are separated, which is kind of pitiful but absence makes the heart grow fonder.. agree??

and everyone else that has interview and yet to get a hotel, best of luck yea..

like out class t shirt says
you never walk alone
sigh, can’t believe the end is coming so close, so close i can smell it

gonna miss you all super much

xoxo
charm chew

ps: large size picture of me incase you miss me like you miss having cough syrup and injections

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before

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after

aahh!! stop having the orgasm already, it should have been cooled down by now..

hoish!!! hopeless bastards read my blog!!!

later you screwed up animal

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

christmas gift.. lame much

so i have this urge to get gifts for all my classmates but then i realized that being out of budget or bankrupt will be inevitable of i do so. then genius me came up with the idea of writing a bog post that is specially dedicated to them however there are a lot of names so i try to keep everything short and simple

ok lets get started (in random order)

ang eng keat

well i still don’t know him as well as i would love to, i just know that he is a loner much like i once was. i don’t really mix with him so i am sorry but i have no pictures of him. still wish i could have known him better.

alex

alex oh alex, well he always gives his comment in practical regardless of weather we want it or not in the first place, he is very tall to me and recently, he seems to showing up in classes fashionably late. i don;t talk to him much since he speaks in Chinese and i in English.

pooi khee and kah kit

these two are my friends from the start, i knew them from year one of my freshie intake. we were in the same class but were never close, I'm glad that they are around since it reminds me of once upon a time.

chun fei (class representative)

awesome and awesome. he is very tall and thin and really friendly. to me, he is the best of the class reps i ever had since my notes are always on time and up to date, he makes a good friend too and has a great smile.

kar onn (assistant class rep)

has a very warm face and a very kind person. thoroughly nice and friendly in a major way, i just love how his size is gigantic next to mine yet he seems so gentle.

kei sin

he is kinda funny and constantly does things to make us laugh and when he smiles, or laugh, his eyes tend to go missing like mine. has a very curious face and is always accidentally silly.

kim hing

well i hardly talk to kim hing and although i have him as a friend in facebook, we hardly ever talk. makes me wonder why i never utter a word to him ever.

mei kien

one of the cutest girls i ever met, her voice is just cute to me and i like how she squeals and get angry, it is just so hard to be angry at her or with her and even about her.

see jia

first girl to call me by my name and it took me two times of asking what was her name to remember it but i remember now. she has this long hair that she always ties into a ponytail everyday and has a geeky specs that makes her face look so enticing to me.

joey

joey is the popular girl in my opinion, there is not one person who she does not know, and everyone seems to know her very well. her hair is just so long and smooth looking and her phone never stops moving ever.

chooi leng

was my older sisters friend from orientation week, she was the first person i talked to in DHT1. she is considered as the odd one out but i think she fits in just right, she speaks to everyone and know she is not really welcomed so to speak and makes jokes out of it

kah hee

kah hee is like the best person i will ever know, even though we hardly ever talk in class, he is willing to fetch me to classes whenever mother nature decides she need to be emo for a while, his hobby is to take random pictures of people and hopefully not get caught.

dennis

dennis is my senior, he is one year older than me but he looks so baby like, he is a christian and i just found out about it recently. don’t let the name fool you, he is not evil like the cartoon character.

yee ling

i got to know yee ling better during english presentation last semester, she is a kamparian meaning she stays in kampar with her family, she has one of the warmest and cutest smiles i ever seen and she is always dressed so properly and fashionably to me

sin lin

sin lin is the whole definition of cuteness. she is just the most adorable thing ever, i remember in langkawi when she got drunk, she started to point at me and call me kiki her dog, her eyes are super slanted and enticing and she seems happy always.

sye khey

sye khey has a total of 4 sons to date and she is majoring in friendliness ask awesomeness, when i was in a bad mood, she would ask if i am ok, she speaks in gibberish sometimes to me but her command of the english language is rather good.

mei yee

mei yee may seem like a cold person at first but as you get to know her like i did, you will see the ice melting and she has her moments of crazy laughter where she laughs at everything that is nothing.

ah mai

ah mai is one third of the 3 mousketeers consisting of sye khey, mei yee and ah mai. they all together forma really good group. ah mai is warm and silly at times and oozes a n aura of kindness

calvin

calvin is a kind soul, he tries to help when he is capable of helping and never seems to be a mean person in my opinion. he too has slanted eyes like sin lin and has rough hair that seems messily in order. he used to drive me to college when it rains but his car has its normal members and is often full.

niki

niki was the first person who talked to me in practical, she is in love with colour contacts and whose eyes i can’t seem to stop looking at with those contacts on, she is massively tall and is happy to help, we have had a misunderstanding once last semester but i noticed that she get over the anger and forgives very easily, she is one person that i will find very hard to forget considering all she has done to help me, she help me find groups for assignments and even talks to me when everyone else was too timid to do so.

kah wai

kah wai is chubby cute and tries to be silly with success always, he is like a teddy bear to me, awesome in all ways. he is someone that i can imagine laughing with all day

tshun kiat (fanshu)

fanshu as we call him made a slogan for DHT1. its YEAH!!! and i always laugh or even smile whenever he says cause he says it in a silly way that nobody can. he is the class clown and is proud to be so.

shee wah and yen kee

shee wah may seem like a stuck up person at first but she is anything but that, she has a good command of the english language and is friendly with a rather pretty face. yen kee was very misunderstood by me, i thought she hated me but she didn’t and i’m glad i am friends with her and finally understood her now

liang wei (darren)

darren has a mouth that omits all vulgarities but is accidentally funny always, he is thin in a major way and every word that come out from his mouth is rather funny, funny thing is that i only got to know him a little bit better during the trip to langkawi, when before i thought he was a gangster kiddo, i’m now proven wrong again and again, i had no idea that he talked in english with his family (still doubting it thought)


ps: all photos are from facebook since i still have not had all the photographs needed


xoxo
charm chew

let the comments flood in...

Sunday, December 13, 2009

i depend on _____ and thanks for not letting me down..

so the power just went back on again and it still staying on till now so its good
i just got news that my sister will return tomorrow and not today

i just had a nice nap when the power went off and i had really good and weird dreams
i had this dream that i will will be going for training with a squid.. hmm
and the best was i dreamed that i was rich as hell...

so i just realized how dependent i am to electricity
and money
and friends
and family
and my blog

my blog is the only place where it is a cyber sanctuary for me
my blog is a place where i can release everything
my blog is most importantly, the miracle the keeps my feeling in order and sanity intact

my blog is a place where i can have all the PMS-es i want without the pain

my friends are too but they have feelings and i have to be careful with that...

my dad once said that i have a happy life but i think that smile is fading slowly
i remember my repeat year, i was happy then
i still am but my degree of happiness is lowering itself

i have loved others as much as i will ever love myself
and i have hated others as much as i should hate myself
i have also caused annoyance to people of which i do regret

in my dreams, everything is alright but thats where it ends
reality is not alright
everything is capable of hurting in reality
the only relief is that there is not a tune of background music to intensify the wound or the joy felt..

i depend on many things and people, its a shame that i have a consistency to fail them
its a beautiful thing when they call me and let me know in their subtle way that they do care
it make me ecstatic and fall in love again..
and in that moment, my life is one that i am happy to live..

xoxo
charm chew

steamy hot pictures (orgasm part one)

just back from teluk intan and boy i'm as stuffed as a turducken
won't be posting anything regarding the meal till i get the pictures from all
just settle with the fact that i'm full till puking seems to be an available option...

xoxo
charm chew

ps: like the tittle to this post?? let me know you cheap bastards

Thursday, December 10, 2009

gah.. fml..

my life now kinda stinks and rocks both at the same time. why?
cause mid terms are flooding, yes this is the stinky part
and it rocks cause i get to have a lot of outings with my friends

Saturday after exam, me and my classmates (a few of them) are going to teluk intan for steamboat at 6pm. not sure if i can get pictures or not.. looking forward to it since it maybe the last time we ever go out together for like ever..

meanwhile, friends have been really good, i really have to thanks my counselor slash assistant for that. thank you for listening and advising me and even making me a massive kepochi...

i just realized, i have had a lot of outings this semester, from simple dinners with my pals to highly anticipated assignment trips to langkawi.

they all have been nothing but fabulous and amazing, thanks everyone...

i think these are the only people i know so far that can literally turn my frown, upside down
its just so fun to be around everyone there, thanks all of you..

anyway, mummy is going to pick older sis tomorrow to go to penang for some retail therapy which makes me a little mad cause i want to go shopping too...

and i can't go cause i have exams on that day and the day after that...
oh well, at least i still got my buddies here with me..

now if you don't mind i shall end this post, gotta get some shut eye and text my mum to bring the camera for me if she can..

xoxo
charm chew

Friday, December 4, 2009

Music Post

ok so my twin sis has done a lot of music posts so i though maybe i should do one too since i do have stuff and new sounds to let you all know about

some of the songs i have sent the url to my friends and they had different reactions, some loved it
some hated it
some got instantly addicted to it..

so here goes

elliott yamin (fight for love)



savannah outen (if you only knew)


chenelle ft colby o donis (cut me so deep (stranger))


tata young (i'm ready for love)


panic at the disco (new perspective)

low shoulder (through the trees)

paramore (brick by boring brick)

demi lovato (here we go again)


yea its a lot and please go buy demi's album or you can download it here
its totally worth it, love all her songs and now addicted to everytime you lie and catch me


ok so i remember saying i'll never go to utar cf meeting again after the 1st time i went but guess what?
i have been going and going and going till the last meeting
serious

go here and try to spot pictures of me

xoxo
charm chew