whatever i was

i remembered my early blogging years when i used friendster blogs

was looking through and i saw this post

dear death

October 29th, 2007

dear death,

i know how ppl hate you for taking away wat they loved.. i hated you too before this…

dear death,

i wish to thank you.. through you i know how little love we show to those we claim to love when they were once alive…

dear death,

i wish to say thanks for the death of bijou the female hamster.. we did a burial and that made me thought of her far deeper than a puddle..

dear death,

where do you learn to suprise everyone?? you appear in the least expected moment of our dull-till-something-good-happens lives… you bring the orgasm of exitement in.. one that makes us high with sorrow and knocks our sober self in…

dear death,

do you have a masterplan or a master to who you listen to??? i would love to meet him indeed… he makes us all unite and seperate.. return to leave.. he is indeed a master of his craft.. i wonder if he could accept me to be his apprentice like you…

dear death,

you are an object of fascination and hate… a thing which we embrace with fear… drowned with thoughts of afterlife and numb our ability to focus on the present for that moment..

dear death,

you scare every and me but for this time i wpuld like to thank you.. through you… i learn to let go… you help me empty out the lost souls and replace them with new ones that are to depart with me or earlier or later than me..

dear death,

i hope that when i reach your path… i hope that everyone i know can suffer like you suffered when hatried becomes your staple food… i hope it numbs them till the littlest drop of blood remaind absent with their feelings of sympathy… only to return after a while… to have their humanity acting as a stranger…recieved with open arms … during my death

and i still want to thank death

i am so weird

xoxo
charm chew